hello! i was wondering if you have any tips for writing dialogue? mine always comes out a bit flat and boring (imo) no matter how hard i try.
Hi there, thanks for your ask! I definitely know the feeling here, and I’ve been meaning to write a good post on dialogue. Here we go!
The Importance of Dialogue
Have you ever had a conversation that changed your life? Maybe it was face-to-face, maybe it was over text, maybe it was over the phone. Maybe it was with your idol, maybe a friend, maybe a complete stranger. Think back to this conversation or to any memorable conversation you’ve had. What made it memorable?
Sometimes people talk to each other just to talk. (We refer to this as fluff in writing.) Other times they’re telling stories or speculating on the latest, strangest conspiracy theories. Whatever it was, you were gathering information whether you knew it or not. You learned more about your conversational partner(s), or you learned more about a certain topic, or both. This is what the purpose of dialogue should be in your writing.
Why is it so hard to write dialogue, then?
Dialogue is the most straight-forward form of characterization for non-PoV characters. Your conscious mind may not know it, but your subconscious is very aware that this concept brings a lot of pressure. If it’s hard to capture your own thoughts with words alone, it’s definitely hard to capture the thoughts of someone that you created from thin air.
So, let’s jump into it.
Characterization Through Dialogue
I’m sure you’ve heard of the term “mannerism” before, but in case you haven’t: a mannerism is habitual way of speaking or acting. It’s almost like a “trademarked” phrase or action, if you will. For example, I’ve been told many times that my mannerisms include:
Yelling in frustration at times (but with no actual words)
Calling people “dude”, “bro”, or “man”
Unnecessary finger guns
The phrase “yikes”
And a lot of others, but these are the most defining ones. Anyone who’s around me regularly could easily associate me with any of these three given things, so that’s going to be a good way to reveal bits of who your character really is. What are their mannerisms?
For me personally, mannerisms aren’t too hard to incorporate in my writing. For example, if I were to write a quick and generic string of my own dialogue, it would look like this:
“Hey, man,” she said, throwing double finger guns. “What’s up?”
Your character’s mannerisms will usually be more on the colloquial side here, as a person’s go-to phrase isn’t usually something super complicated. Additionally, mannerisms aren’t usually something that would take too long to include. They’re just thrown in as little quirks that appear in conversation.
What’s the danger with mannerisms?
It’s easy for someone to pepper their regular conversations with their most common mannerisms. The issues come when you’re including them in every single line in every single situation. Unless your characters are socially inept, they’ll probably know when it’s appropriate to use their mannerisms and when they need to be dropped for a manner of greater professionalism.
Mannerisms are fantastic to include as an a way to build on a foundation that you’ve (hopefully) already built. However, they’re not something you want to be writing in every time they speak.
Revelation Through Dialogue
The main goal of the dialogue you write should be to reveal some sort of information. With this goal comes the dreaded threat of the info-dump, does it not? Here’s where you strike your balance between exposition and characterization.
Maybe your character doesn’t know everything, or maybe they can’t talk about everything. Your PoV character is still getting information, but you’re also learning more about, well, everything. Take a look at these two bits of dialogue about finding treasure.
“You start at the red house on the corner of Clyde and Monroe, and walk exactly fifty-two paces north into the woods. Then you turn and walk to the crest of the hill over which the sun sets, and wait there until midnight. A shovel will be revealed in the branches of a tree exactly fifty degrees to your right; use it to dig down and uncover the treasure.”
“So there’s this red house on Clyde and Monroe, right, and from there you’re gonna walk fifty-ish steps north. Then there’s the one hill with the frickin’ huge trees that you always see the sunset on, right? Yeah, you’re gonna go there. Then you gotta wait until like midnight and a shovel’s gonna show up somewhere to your right, then you’re gonna use it and dig down to get the treasure.”
The first one was more precise, yes, but which one would you hear in a natural conversation. How would you give directions to a friend without having memorized the map beforehand? That’s what the first blurb sounds like to me, like someone memorized the map and the directions before the conversation started.
Including characterization in your dialogue is a good way to avoid the dreaded info-dump. The second string is less precise, yes, but it sounds like something that would comes from a person, not a GPS. You know the character speaking got the gist (which is all a dedicated treasure-finder really needs, right?) but didn’t quite catch all the details, and that’s a thing that naturally happens in real life. Use it to your advantage!
The Dangers of 100% Natural Conversation
Tangents. Topic changes. Unexpected bouts of laughter. Losing track of thought. Repetitions. Trying to same the same story and repeating it fifty times before someone listens.
Imagine having to read all of these in a single conversation because the writer wanted it to be as natural as possible. Infuriating, right?
When your dialogue is no longer actively contributing to your story, your plot, or your characterization in a useful way, your dialogue no longer has a purpose. Do people talk all the time in real life without a purpose? Of course they do.
Do readers want to read through five pages of telling old anecdotes when the characters should be finding the magical sword to slay the dragon? Unless they’re climbing a mountain and passing the time in anything but silence, probably not. (But even then you don’t need to write out every line.)
You want your dialogue to be natural. You want it to flow in the way that a normal conversation would. But you don’t want it to mimic every nuance of the spoken English language. When you cross over from natural to nearing ridiculous, there’s an issue to be fixed.
So, that’s all I’ve got for today; hopefully this will help you bring your dialogue to life! If there’s anything else you want to see me write about, please don’t hesitate to leave a message in my ask. Until next time, much love! <333
